It's been an interesting past few months. Since the end of October, I've become increasingly ill. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is basically a nice way of saying, "we don't know what's wrong with you." I've tried numerous meds, exercise routines, eating, vitamins, etc. However, it has never been as bad as the flare up I have recently experienced. Starting in mid-Decmeber, I had to take a lot of time off of work, and have struggled unsuccessfully to keep up with career, hubby, kids, callings, friends, family, etc. Andrew has essentially been a single dad, and I don't know how he has done it. He's battled with the insurance company for me, and looked for alternative cures as well. I am grateful for his support and patience. My work has likewise been extraordinarily understanding, and I have appreciated their flexibility with me.
About a week ago, I went to an appointment with yet another doctor. Before the appointment, I had little hope that I would be anything but fat and lazy the rest of my life (or so it feels to me). Previously, Andrew and I had attended an appointment with my PCP, who essentially told us to find another insurance company, as there was nothing else they could do for us. This is the same doctor who has tried to convince me that CFS does not exist and that I instead suffer from depression. Yeah, I wish. As a therapist I know how to deal with depression. CFS, not so much. So, he has been little help.
However, this new doctor, a psychiatrist, looked over my extensive history of attempts to alleviate my symptoms. He spent a lot of time talking with me about my history. He agreed that I had been sent down to the psych department because no one else knew what to do with me...so it must all be in my head. I felt somewhat vindicated when he said that this didn't sound like depression, but in fact CFS...and yes, it is a real disease. One of my main concerns was getting yet another perscription. I felt like every time I went to the doctor, someone just threw another pill at me, hoping that would work. I didn't think that this approach was doing anything to solve whatever problem was going on in my body, but just masking the symptoms. This doctor said that he liked to try other approaches first, other than medication. He started out by saying that he needed to put together a team of
physicians to help me, since CFS is likely a multi-faceted problem. He is getting me a new PCP, and is going to fight on my behalf to get me
a rheumatologist, something we have thus far been denied. We discussed what I had already researched about it and discussed all the various possibilities of CFS. I was like, wow...really? I don't have to fight with you to help me? In the end, he agreed that I could get off of all meds I had been previously perscribed and to essentially "start over." He encouraged me on my plan to "eat clean," which is to eat as organically as possible, avoid sugar and simple carbohydrates, and essentially eat "paleo." I had to go search that. Wow, is that going to be hard....
This past week, I have primarily focused on dealing with the withdrawal symptoms of some of my previous medications. However, Andrew continues to prove how lucky I am to have him as my partner in life. He has continued to get up early, get ready for work, and make raw juice smoothies, and then clean it all up, and take himself and the kids to school/daycare. The smoothies are made up of raw juice made minutes before they are put into the blender where we add spinach and kale. We've been doing these since the beginning of the year. They help SOOOO much with energy. So much that I often bring an extra smoothie to work with me to drink at about 2:00pm, when I usually start to feel that mid-afternoon desire for a nap!
So, as I am feeling better day by day with the new regimine of diet, exercise, and only one medication, I am looking forward...kind of....to really starting the paleo diet. And it may not be a diet. It may be a "this is for the rest of your life" kind of eating plan. But at some point, you've got to look at the Krispy Kremes and say, "you're just not worth me sleeping away the rest of my life." I don't know if they are the culprit, but certainly they are an accessory after the fact....
So, this has been the life of the Dahlins. I have a race in two weeks...I haven't been able to train very much for it, but this week I am looking forward to trying a new sleep schedule that allows me more opportunity to get the kind of exercise in that I need and can now do, thanks to what we are already starting to do in terms of my health plan. I don't think this will be an easy change, but I'd rather do things this way, than be super medicated with foreign drugs that only mask some of the issues, address none of the causes, and eventually cease to work anyway. I am more hopeful that this will become better over time, and that my husband will have a wife again, and my kids will have a mom again.
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